The following song hit home for me: Kelly Clarkson's "Because of You". The lyrics perfectly define what I went through during my parents' divorce, what I felt like as a result of how I was treated (even though I was a child, I was treated as an adult, made to make adult decisions), and the ramifications of my parents' actions. The song perfectly depicts the effects of a Cluster B personality disorder parent. Cluster B Personality Disorders are evidenced by dramatic & erratic behaviors and include Borderline Personality, Narcissistic, Antisocial, and Histrionic.
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
