Wednesday, July 6, 2011

My Dysfunctional Family Update

So, I thought I would update you all since my last official 'update' was mid-2009 where my Dad hadn't been in contact with my husband, child, and me for 6 months (What Makes My Narcissistic Dad Tick) and my mother had been meddling in my & my brother's affairs indirectly and directly: part one, two, three. Also during this time, my brother went through a crisis, where he alluded to suicide (Adult Child in Crisis with Personality Disorder Parents) and I wrote him a heart-t0-heart letter (Antisocial Personality Disorder: Letter to my Brother).

Since then, my Dad has made no attempt to contact me to see his grand-child (my child) since Christmas 2008 when he got upset that my husband's parents came into town and "ruined" his Christmas because we couldn't come to his house for Christmas. We had invited him to come to our house, and at the last minute, he cancelled via email. We haven't heard from him since. He hasn't tried to see his grand-child (my child) nor tried to cultivate any type of relationship. If he is upset with me or my husband, that is one thing. But to take out his anger on his grand-child is very pitiful and utterly unacceptable.

In regard to my mother since 2009, she and I have remained estranged, and she has made no attempt to contact me. She has, however, become close to my half-sister (my mother's first of three husband's daughter who my mother never knew personally until my mother & I became estranged in 2004). She claims that my half-sister has the same sense of humor and similar interests to mine. I truly think my mother is trying to replace me with this person, which is very creepy and strange. What is additionally creepy and strange: that my half-sister is receptive to my mother when she has her own family (mother, father, brothers, husband, kids).

My brother during all of this time has been battling depression and anxiety. He has yet to hold down a steady job and continually manipulates Dad and mother for money, cell phone service, computer service, etc. He's come to the realization that he's in his 40's now and hasn't made a life for himself. He's a self-proclaimed liar and continues to lie for monetary benefit predominately.

On my end, the last two years has been peaceful. The lack of drama is perfect, the fact I don't have to figure-out contorted mental puzzles is awesome, and life is sweet & simple. Having the manipulations, dysfunction, and toxicity out of my life is something I had been attempting to achieve for decades, and now I have it. My child is growing up in a loving atmosphere that is steady, consistent, and predictable with lots of life lessons, fun, education, and support. My husband and I made every day an adventure and surround our child with so much happiness that the sun shines even at night.

Next, my brother comes to visit... what a perfect reminder of what I have left and how far I have progressed.


  1. I just came across your blog yesterday and I have yet to read most of it, but I just want to thank you for sharing your insights. I'm 26 and I have been struggling for about 4 years with many of the same family issues described in the 1 or 2 entries I have read. I think this is the first blog I've come across where someone shares his/her personal experiences with these problems in such great detail, and it's nice to know you're out there. Here's hoping I might gain something from this. All the best to you.

  2. You are so very welcome... thank for stopping by to comment. All the best to you too... would love to hear your comments and stories if / when you have the chance. Take care~